Stop Blaming Yourself

What is blaming? Blaming means attributing an event or emotion to someone or something, whether the person or thing actually had anything to do with the outcome or not. You could blame the weather for your inability to exercise. You could also blame your spouse for your actions. However, many times, we can find ourselves blaming ourselves for things that we could not control.

Blaming the Victim

Sometimes, things in life just happen. However, if you have ever caught yourself saying something along the lines of “If I had done X, then Y would not have happened,” this is the essence of self-blame, which is closely connected to guilt. Self blaming means taking responsibility for something that you could not have prevented.

Blaming the victim is a common occurrence in narcissistic relationships. The victim is always the one held responsible when it is the other person who is truly to blame.

The Root of Self Blaming

The root of self-blame, guilt, and the cycle that continues to repeat itself through relationships into adulthood can begin in early childhood. However, it does not always stem from stereotypical abuse and neglect scenarios. If you were in a family where high achievements were expected or where you were criticized, it begins a process of self-judgment that lasts a lifetime.

Another scenario occurs when the child’s feelings are dismissed. It can take the form of “It’s not as bad as you are making it. Stop acting that way.”

How to Stop Blaming Yourself

The ultimate goal is to learn to love and accept yourself as you are along with all of your strengths and weaknesses. Holding on to those voices in your head that tell you that you are not good enough only leads to anxiety and relationship problems. The key is to break the cycle.

If you are ready to take the first step and want to know how to eliminate self-blame and stop beating yourself up, then it is time to call Christina Kim. She has techniques that can help you calm the inner critic and progress toward a life that is more fulfilling and more forgiving of yourself.